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𝕂𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕒𝕝

5 Ways to open the refrigerator!

Hello everyone, Valt is with you! Last night, I realized that we had been opening the refrigerator incorrectly all our lives. I've done my research, dropped a dumpling, and now I'm ready to introduce you to 5 real Ways to get into the abode of sausage scraps. Have fun reading!

Method #1: "Classics through pain"

You just grab the handle and pull. Are you bored? But it's not. The main thing here is not to calculate the force of the door opening, because at that moment a can of saury, which you threw there in 2018, flies from the top shelf into your forehead. The bruise is secured, the dinner is saved, the jar is not broken, because it is already immortal.

Method number 2: "Call Alexey"

You stand in front of the door and realize that there is a magnet inside. Not just a magnet, but a creature of hell that holds the door tighter than dad holds a belt when you brought a C in geography. You can't beat him. You take out your phone, call your friend Alexei (everyone should have Lech in their life) and shout into the phone: "LECH, TELL THE REFRIGERATOR THAT I'M HERE!". Lech screams obscenities into the phone, the pressure of the magnet drops from fright, the door opens by itself. Verified by science.

Method number 3: "Alahamora!"

One of the most difficult ways. To do this, you will have to find the last flywheel of time, travel to the past at the time of your birth, be born a magician, receive a letter from Hogwarts at the age of 11, study and become a magician, and finally apply the "Alahamora" spell to the refrigerator! And then, probably, the door of the snow-white safe will open.

Method number 4: "Schrodinger's Cat Paradox"

If you don't have a cat, get a cat. A cat is a bio—key. You wait for the cat to start yelling that he's starving (usually it's 03:47 at night). You tell the cat, "Listen, fatso, you open the door, I take out the Kitekat, and you don't say anything until morning. Barter?" The cat looks at you with the gaze of an ancient demon, runs his paw over the rubber band of the seal, and the door creaks open. You're in shock. The cat is shocked that you still haven't figured out who's boss in the house.

Method number 5: "The Power of Imagination and cabbage soup"

You just sit in front of the refrigerator that's turned off and start convincing yourself that you've already opened it. You're visualizing a cutlet. You can smell yesterday's cabbage soup. You reach for the mayonnaise with your astral hand... Whoosh! You open your eyes, and the refrigerator is really open! (It only works if there are enough midi-chlorians)

* * *

Well, that's it for me, please like it if you tried one of the ways! Good luck to all and pokedova!

Tags: Humorous
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𝕂𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕒𝕝

The complete collection of spells of my production

Hello everyone, wizards and crazy aurors, Valtharix is with you. I'll share my personal experience: when you have to constantly hide from the ministry, you come up with more than one spell. I invented quite a lot of spells, and I still use most of them, because many of them were created by me so that I could release posts with secret documents for you in any security. Here I have tried to collect for you all the spells that I have ever invented. I hope you'll appreciate it.

* * *

  • Archon - sets the area on fire with a blue flame that consumes everything.
  • Onciro - body exchange
  • Silence - creates a circular magical barrier over a person. Moves with the carrier
  • Lecros - revitalizes plants
  • Markros - changes the color of the eyes
  • Dumento - creates a thick black fog
  • Feniscro - summons a magical phoenix
  • Ridaron - makes the pen write itself
  • Technimos - disables Muggle technology
  • Renimo - creates a fatigue effect 
  • Compix - shows the way to the house
  • Treombo - cools the water
  • Serelis - imposes the effect of insomnia
  • Lergon - decreased intelligence for a short time 
  • Ahio Seniter - freezes an object
  • Binimo is a complex spell that mixes memories. 
  • Timerent is a very difficult spell that rewinds time back by 1 hour.
  • Infernio Firantes is an extremely complex and long-lasting spell that summons a demon.
  • Humorous:
  • Rating Picoques - adds +10000 rating to pico
  • Disdelio Simraverment - removes the dislike button from the Simraverers
  • Prior Leibantem - forces Leib to write posts 5 times a day

* * *

Use it well, I hope my collection of spells will help you. See you soon, Valtarix was with you, out.

Tags: Movies
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𝕂𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕒𝕝

How I drew the map of middle-earth

Hoi hoi, dear friends, Valtharix is with you!
You all probably know Tolkien's book The Hobbit, and you've probably watched the movie. Personally, I'm a fan of this wonderful Cinematic universe, and I like the Lord of the Rings even more than the Hobbit, and today I decided to draw a map of middle-earth from the Lord of the Rings. Today I will tell you how I did it and what I got in the end. Have fun reading!

Stage 1. Card Selection

  In general, I chose the most realistic map of middle-earth. I had already drawn a map from the Hobbit universe, but it was much simpler, and I had quite a long job ahead of me.

This is the map I decided to draw.

This is the map I decided to draw. 

Stage 2. Drawing 

It took a long time to draw, especially since I had only one pencil at my disposal. The work was laborious, as I had to draw small details, mountains and paths. I also often confused letters with geographical objects, and in the end I gave up on the inscriptions, wrote only the largest and most important ones. There were really a lot of small marks, and I often got lost and forgot to draw an object, but in the end I got something.:

It's not exactly beautiful, but there is some result)

It's not exactly beautiful, but there is some result)

Stage 3. Effects

I wanted my map to be as realistic and sample-like as possible, so I had to depict the aging effect (paper yellowing). I decided to try to do this using tea leaves, although I wasn't sure what would happen because the tea leaves were quite pale in color. It didn't work out very well, but there was another stage ahead)

As I said, the tea leaves were too pale

As I said, the tea leaves were too pale

Stage 4. Finishing touches

Since I couldn't make the paper old enough, I decided to add something else on my own - to burn the paper a little. Of course, some places were burned more than I thought, but it was still cool.:

It turned out more or less, plus I found a darker brew and adjusted the map.

It turned out more or less, plus I found a darker brew and adjusted the map.

* * *

Well, anyway, as far as I'm concerned, normis, I also hung this map on my wall). Well, I say goodbye to you, until the new post!

Tags: LiteratureGeography
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